WASHINGTON, DC – In a press conference today, US Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt confirmed that all non-US track and field athletes will be chased by agents of United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement while competing in the 2028 Summer Olympics. “President Trump has always believed in government efficiency,” said Leavitt, pursing her lips together until they resembled the butthole of a fancy little dog. “And if any of those athletes injure themselves while competing, they’re going to expect a medic to run onto the track and patch them up. That takes away from our Medicaid dollars for Americans, probably.”Some Olympians say the threat of ICE agents won’t deter them from seeking Olympic glory. “I have modified my training routine to begin preparing for the possibility of being pursued by immigration agents,” said Ugandan runner Joshua Cheptegei, reigning Olympic champion in the men’s 10,000m event.