Remember those 38 harrowing minutes in 2018 when people in Hawaii believed there was a ballistic missile en route after receiving an errant emergency phone alert? The first scene, as each party of tourists arrive, touting their own relationship problems, could be the setup for a new White Lotus season. One central cause of This Is Not a Drill’s dramatic limpness is that this, of course, is a drill. There is far more suspense and pathos in the similar false alarm apocalypse plotline in the SpongeBob SquarePants musical. And it’s certainly credible that a traumatic incident like this one might make people reconsider their life choices.