If I express too much affection for him, he retreats, so I’m holding a lot back. I’m trying to be patient, I am really caring, and there’s some beautiful mutual care in this relationship so far. I really don’t think he’s a f**kboy, the abuse went on for 6 years from when he was 21 and she was a fair bit older. I'm really checking myself for unconscious bias and imagining if the genders were switched. There certainly sounds like there is potential here but I think you need to be really clear with your boundaries.