By now, you’ve likely heard of polyamory — the interest in or practice of engaging in more than one romantic relationship at a time with the consent of all parties — that has captured the cultural conversation of late. But you may not be familiar with the term “tolyamory,” a different relationship structure that is prevalent but seldom spoken about. Tolyamory is a term coined by sex and relationship columnist and podcaster Dan Savage. Unlike polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy, it’s not something the couple has explicitly discussed and agreed to. They’re willing to put up with it — a certain amount of it — reconciled to it, willing to tolerate it.