DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old woman with a 21-year-old daughter, “Penny.” I got pregnant at 16 and was very much alone, with little help from those around me. They knew I was pregnant but chose to remain uninvolved and haven’t helped in any way. I thought my secret (and right to privacy) had been respected, but I recently found out that someone told Penny about her “other family” several years ago. On my daughter’s 21st birthday, her paternal grandma called her and told her she had a birthday gift for her. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.