In a dramatic escalation of tensions in the Middle East, the United States has warned Iran it may be forced to release Melania, a feature-length biopic of the First Lady, if Tehran continues to ignore American demands. Speaking from the White House, President Donald Trump said the administration had exhausted all reasonable diplomatic options. It starts with dropping Melania, but it soon escalates to releasing the full director’s cut with commentary and special features. Donald Trump defended the decision, saying it was the only way to change the situation in Iran. “Believe me, once they’ve watched the first 15 minutes, they’ll be begging to come to the negotiating table.”—–Headline by Anthony Bell