My wife thinks compromise means I vacuum more, and I think compromise means I learn how to look busy while holding a vacuum but never actually using it correctly. Authorities say a 51-year-old man was arrested after allegedly engaging in what deputies described as a “sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner” at a gated resort community near Disney World. According to the Smoking Gun, a Florida man took “not knowing how to vacuum” to a level that I can only describe as deeply confusing and wildly unnecessary. Vacuum Video:Witnesses even provided statements and cellphone video showing the man partially clothed while getting way too friendly with the household cleaning device. Suddenly pretending I don’t know how to vacuum feels like a very reasonable life strategy.