He calls a sincere apology “one of the most important skills we can develop.”Trying to engineer a life without conflict sets couples up for disappointment. “If you’re having apology issues, don’t assume it’s just they’re not saying it right. Dr. Townsend shared the four components that make and apology sincere: ownership, impact, remorse and change. “When those things are there, we believe in the apology and we accept the apology from another,” he said. “You actually have to care,” Dr. Townsend emphasized.