The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year’s ceremony. A: Anyone who’s anyone in the world of mouth noises. A: The best way to experience the Grammys is a 30-second recap from your coworkers the next day. A: Watching a classical musician spend 45 minutes trying to honk out the Grammy he dropped in his tuba. A: Watch until the end, and you might spot some artists dumping their trophies in the trash can on their way out.