Formulated in 1959 and administered to children for nearly 70 years, Calpol is a part of British life. With more than 70 per cent of the market share, Calpol is the family narcotic of choice. Your children ‘are better people’ once they are dosed with Calpol, he shouts as he peacocks up and down the stage, likening the Calpol syringe to a weapon worn on a holster or a petrol pump. In the syrupy interstices between gentle parenting and the good old-fashioned ‘method’ of leaving howling children behind closed doors, Calpol inserts itself. In response to concerns that dosing a child with Calpol was the sugar equivalent of pushing liquid Haribo down your baby’s throat, former owners Johnson & Johnson introduced a sugar-free version into the ‘Calpol family’ in 2011.